Haircut!

Monday, Daniel's friend, Nick, came over. It just so happened that we were in the middle of discussing (actually we were pleading with him) cutting his hair. Hearing us in the other room, Nick called, "yeah, cut your hair, Daniel.

Now I might add here that six months ago Nick's hair was longer than Daniel's. He has since enlisted in the military and now has a very handsome buzz cut.

Amazing what peer pressure will do. Nick went with him to get the haircut and he came home with a moderately short cut--more than acceptable, better than what I had hoped!

Daniel, however, was not very happy with us; in fact, he wasn't happy with Nick either. He spent the rest of the day moping and letting us know how miserable we were making him.

The next morning it was like someone had flipped a switch. He decided he like the shorter style and was very pleasant all day as though there was no drama the day before.

The day after that, he decided he wanted his hair shorter...

Ta-da!

Incidently, Daniel got his learner's permit Tuesday morning.

Why doesn't Daniel want to drive?

I've been a little puzzled over the last few years over why Daniel doesn't seem more excited or motivated to get his drivers' license.

Let me explain first that here in Idaho, driver's is not part of the high school curriculum. It is offered by the school district after school for $250-$300 dollars with a strict policy of not missing any of the classes. We told Daniel he would have to pay for it--that could be one deterrent, although he's had the money in savings several times and would have been able to do it.

We had also said (when he was about 11 years old) that he would have to have his Eagle Scout award in order to get his license. Another deterrent, but nevertheless, we said he could take driver's ed, get his learner's permit and practice until that requirement was met (incidentally, I have many regrets about tying driving to the Eagle Award among which is the fact that since he couldn't drive, we've had to chauffeur him everywhere--keep reading, though, I've found a solution).

When he turned 17, driver's ed was no longer a requirement for getting a license, so we got the driver's handbook, figured he could get his learner's permit and practice driving. He has studied the book and is probably ready to take the written test for his learner's permit. Several times, Paul has said, "Hey, let's do it this afternoon!" Wouldn't you think most teenagers would jump at the chance and be chomping at the bit to go? Not Daniel. He had to do this or that and taking the test could wait til' tomorrow so he could get this done today.

I think I've figured out the problem. Take a good look at this picture...

Do you see any problems? Yes, this picture is a year or two old, but it illustrates my point completely.

In order to drive, Daniel would be required to cut his hair sufficiently to be able to SEE! However, I think his love affair with his longer hair outweighs the desire to drive. The mere mention of cutting his hair brings dark clouds into his eyes and resounding, "No! I'm not cutting my hair."

Nevertheless, for his safety and the safety of everyone else on the road, the hair must be cut. Therefore his solution is that he will delay driving.

MY solution is that if he does not get his permit within the next two weeks we will no longer chauffeur him to work, to friends' houses etc--he will have to find his own way. After all, he is an adult now at eighteen and ought to take more responsibility for these things!

He still may choose to walk or ride his bike, but then that is his adult choice!

Are we being too hard-nosed about this?

What do I do now that he's eighteen (almost)

Remember this little boy?

Well, he grew into this handsome young man! And now, he's turning eighteen this week! Of course we still have his senior year of high school to look forward to.

The main thing we are struggling with is how much freedom and decision-making to let him have. After all, he's eighteen, now (almost).

The other night, he wanted to go for a walk just to get out of the house by himself for a bit (1400 square feet, 4 sisters--I completely understand!). He's done this before with no apparent problems or lapses in judgment. However, this time he didn't arrive back home until 10:30 pm (no phone call to let us know where he was or to ask if he could stay out that late)--a little late by our standards. We talked with him and asked that from now on, he be home by 9pm.

Oh, the protests, the "why are all of the rules changing", the "why don't you trust me" and of course the "I'm eighteen now, why can't I do what I want."

My reply was simply that good judgment dictated that he should keep in contact with us, ask permission to stay out a little later and let us know where he was and what he was doing. A lot of the time he uses good judgment.

However, staying out on a walk until 10:30 (past dark), without calling, without us knowing exactly where he was or when he would be home, was not using good judgment.

When he chooses not to use good judgment, we as parents must step in and make the decisions for him until such time that we feel he is again capable of using good judgment in this area.

What do you think? Should I have come down harder? or should it have just been a talk to let him know what he should do and leave it at that.

This parenting stuff is hard!

Daniel's Eagle Project

Well, we're almost there! Daniel is in the last stages of getting his Eagle Scout award. He's rushing around getting signatures and references---all to be done before the 18th birthday in three weeks.

The project itself was completed almost three weeks ago on June 21st. We had nearly fifty people--men, women, children--show up to help complete it. We were awed by the number of people who came to support Daniel in these efforts. The project consisted of cleaning and organizing the preschool shed...

BEFORE...

DURING...

AFTER!

Repainting things on the blacktop...

BEFORE...

DURING...

AFTER!

MORE PAINTING...BEFORE...

DURING...

AFTER!

Krispy Kreme and Dominoes donated food for everyone, Lowe's and Gorgeous Garages donated time and materials, and we got the whole thing done in about four hours!

Hopefully in a few weeks we'll have pictures of his Eagle award Court of Honor!