Remember this little boy?
Well, he grew into this handsome young man! And now, he's turning eighteen this week! Of course we still have his senior year of high school to look forward to.The main thing we are struggling with is how much freedom and decision-making to let him have. After all, he's eighteen, now (almost).
The other night, he wanted to go for a walk just to get out of the house by himself for a bit (1400 square feet, 4 sisters--I completely understand!). He's done this before with no apparent problems or lapses in judgment. However, this time he didn't arrive back home until 10:30 pm (no phone call to let us know where he was or to ask if he could stay out that late)--a little late by our standards. We talked with him and asked that from now on, he be home by 9pm.
Oh, the protests, the "why are all of the rules changing", the "why don't you trust me" and of course the "I'm eighteen now, why can't I do what I want."
My reply was simply that good judgment dictated that he should keep in contact with us, ask permission to stay out a little later and let us know where he was and what he was doing. A lot of the time he uses good judgment.
However, staying out on a walk until 10:30 (past dark), without calling, without us knowing exactly where he was or when he would be home, was not using good judgment.
When he chooses not to use good judgment, we as parents must step in and make the decisions for him until such time that we feel he is again capable of using good judgment in this area.
What do you think? Should I have come down harder? or should it have just been a talk to let him know what he should do and leave it at that.
This parenting stuff is hard!
3 comments:
Hi,
We've been dealing with exactly the same thing! Jessyka was grounded last week because she has repeatedly "forgotten" to call us and let us know what's going on. We told her that when she moves into her own place she won't have to report to us any more.
Good luck!
Lorie
Daniel looks so handsome!
This is tough - he is almost 18. On the other hand, he still has his senior year and he lives at home, eats your food, etc. Legally he'll be an adult, but that doesn't relieve him of the responsibility to be courteous and to let you know where he is. Does he have a cell phone? He needs one. Cell phone means there are no more excuses, unless he forgets to take it, or to charge it, or loses...okay, I guess there would be a whole new slew of excuses.
I agree, this parenting thing is hard! Good luck.
Oh man! We're not there yet and I don't have any advice! A friend of mine, who is a first time mom, refers to her little baby as the "waffle baby". (You know how the 1st waffle of every batch turns out-it's always an experiment of the temperature of the iron and the texture of the batter) I guess Daniel was your waffle baby and now your waffle 18 year old!
You can tell him the rules are changing because he is changing and growing!
I think you did the right thing!
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